The Bell Jar

15 October 2007
Entry 1
Ch.1 Pages 1-13

The protagonist seems very interested in detail. She seems to be unhappy with herself even though she has accomplished so much. It's as if there is some sort of empty feeling she is having, like there is something missing and she cannot seem to pin point exactly what it is.
'He was the type of fellow I can't stand. I'm five feet ten in stockings, and when I'm with little men I stoop over a bit and slouch my hips...and I feel gawky and morbid..."(9) It seems as if she doesn't want to change for anyone, even if it is just a minor change. I know it's hard for me to change just to please anyone, so I can understand her displeasure in changing to suit others needs. She is quite an interesting character...

Entry 2
Ch.1
Quote: ' I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.'

Hmm the protagonist feels like there is no connection with her and the outside world. That she is alone and no one feels the way she does and that no one understands.


16 October 2007
Entry 3
Ch.2 Page 15-19

Protagonist seems to like detail in everything. She went to this man's house and seemed to be interested in the detail of it. I think . . . Well anywho, the protagonist has very much emotional pain. She talks about how laying in a hot tub of water eases away everything and, 'cures' her from everything. It's as if everything is a problem, New York, the night before with Doreen, she needs an escape and to feel cleansed. And that is what she does. Also she talks about staing connected, it seems most of her interactions are over the phone maybe?

Entry 4
Page 22-23

Doreen seems to be Miss Greenwoods favourite person, otherwise she would not have put up with her. Esther Greenwood does not want others to portray her as a 'Doreen', Esther doesn't want to be known as a Marilyn Monroe, i.e. a whore. She would rather have people see her as a Betsy, a good wife. I do not think Esther knows exactly who she wants to be, because she talks about how somewhere deep down in her heart she is a Betsy, and on her outer core she is a Doreen. She is struggling between these two personalities.

17 October 2007
Entry 5
Ch.3 Page 24-26

Esther mentions how she loves to eat food, and that it doesn't matter what it is she'll eat it, especially when it's expensive, when it's expensive she'll buy a chain of it. Esther doesn't come from a big rich family, and she seems to resent others who do and don't appreciate it, but Esther seems like she loves the money. As if there's an endless amount of it. On top of the whole eating thing, Esther seems to eat a while lot of food. Is there a void in Esther that only food seems to fill? Odd.

Entry 6
Page 27

Esther comments on how she doesn't want to get married. She never really mentions why, just that she doesn't, becuase I assumed that she had wanted to be like Betsy, someone who was like a 'Susey homemaker' type. Obviously she seems to be ashamed of being like Doreen, and she is afraid of what others may think of her. But she doesn't want to be tied down to a man either.

18 October 2007
Entry 7
Quote: 'She looked terrible, but very wise.' Page 39

So what I am thinking here is that Esther is saying that when a woman happens to not look so attractive that she is most likely intelligiant. Jay Cee does not seem like the nicest person to Esther but apparaenlty she is unnatractive and unattractive poeple are smart.

Entry 8
Page 49

Esther and Doreen seem to be very close. Doreen's loyalty to Esther shows as she comes up ans surprises Esther as she has food poisoning.

19 October 2007
Entry 9
Page 51

Esther seems as if she unusal people and names interst her. Esther is a very unusual person. She has this resentment for Buddy. A terrible resentment. Buddy has done something very terrible, it's obviuos. Why else would she randommly think about him?

Entry 10
Pages 53-58

Esther must have had some sort of attachment to Buddy. Was he her first sexual encounter?
First love? First something?! Is this why she cannot seem to let the memories of him go?

20 Octover 2007
Entry 11
Ch. 6 Page 66-67

Esther had just watched a woman giving birth, and afterwards she still wanted kids? She's crazy. Esther watched it I am guessing for Buddy's sake because she didn't want him to think that she couldn't handle it. Otherwise she would feel that she was not up to his expectaions.

Entry 12
Page 73

Esther is just as much of a liar and a hypocrite as she accuses others of being! She lies to just about most people and makes up stories herself. She thinks Buddy being a hypocrite justifies her actions of being a hypocrite.

21 October 2007
Entry 13
Ch. 7 Page 76

Esther is feeling inadequate and to make it worse she is bringing herself down by pointing out all of the things she cannot do. She is honest with herself but not everyone else.

Entry 14
Ch. 7 Page 83

Quote: 'I could catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediatley saw he wouldn't so at all.'

This reminds me of when I was younger and went to a museum. I am not sure what statue it was but, from a distance this statue was beautiful. Perect and completley flawless. As I edged closer to view this god-like statue, I could see the cracks. The little imperfections that weren't noticeable until I came closer. What Esther is saying is that, when you distance yourself off from a person that there is no chance of you disliking them, that wat you won't have to notice how not right they are. But once you get emotionally and physically closer, you begin to nocitce everything that is wrong with them. Esther cannot find herself getting emotionally closer to someone because she fears she'll dislike them.

23 October 2007
Entry 15
Ch.8 Page 93

Esther fears commitment. Either that or she just highly disagrees with the way socitey wants her to act and behave and be.

Entry 16
Page 90

Esther is very observant of others appearances. She seems to often describe peoples appearances very discriptively.

25 October 2007
Entry 17
I do not understand exactly why Esther could not face the expensive clothes. I mean is it because she feels that she may have the expensive clothes but she does not have the personality to go with it? Or is it becuase She feels fake when she wears them, or maybe because she bought the clothes because she is crazy and perfers to impulsively buy things.



Entry 18
Ch. 9 106

As Esther is standing on the top tearing each piece of clothing off and throwing it down, this shows how she wants to get rid of the memories of that evening. How she just wants to tear off any memory of that day.

25 October 2007
Entry 19
Ch. 10 113

Esther is an odity. I mean, she wanted to leave the blood stains there because it was 'a relic of a dead lover (113)" Crazy. Although I can see where she stands, it was quite an experience.

Entry 20
Page 126

Alright, so Esther needs to see a psychiatrist. Which isn't totally a bad thing, honestly everyone in the world should see one. Esther seems depressed. It would be a good idea if she did talk to one to figure out why she is such a Debbie Downer all the time. Well not realy, she seems to want an adrenaline rush every five minutes, but is too lazy to do anything about it.

26 October 2007
Entry 21
Ch. 11 Page 129

Esther is feeling isloated and depressed. She wants to accomplish so much to show that she is not like her mother, I am guessing, and for some reason she feels that people are watching her. Crazy, that is what she is.

Entry 22
Page 130-135

Esther has some major boarder line personality problems. Also, she lies very much. Which is obvious. Although she calls others liars and hypocrites, Esther does not see herself as one. Or atleast I think she doesn't.

27 October 2007
Entry 23
Page 146

I assume some of what is wrong with Esther is her mother's fault. And the way her mother acts is society's fault. All Esther's mother did was make sure she looked good infront of other people, such being the good wife, being the good mother that took care of the childeren and the husband. That is exactly what her mother is like, and Esther strays away from that, I am not sure if her mother dissaproves, but she thinks that Esther is only being crazy because she decided to be crazy. "I knew you would decide to be alright again" (146).

Entry 24
Page 147

Esther doesn't want to kill herself, but she does want to feel pain. Apparenltly Esther must feel emotionally numb, and wants to experience so much in her life.

29 October 2007
Entry 25
Page154-156

This whole passage is making me think that this book isn't centered around Esther herself, but the society and how they expect comformity. Esther just happens to be a one of the many people Sylvia Plath has chosen to write about. Doreen seems to be like Esther just less depressed and more true to who she is and has become. Esther is jsut having a problem in coming to terms with who she wants to be.

Entry 26
Page 158

I have diagnosed Esther as boarderline personality. She's depressed because ever since she was young she has felt surpressed by her mother and society as a whole. But mostly society because it's their fault her mother made Esther follow the rules or whatever. Also she keeps trying to kill herself, but I doubt she really wants to because of the fact that every little obstacle changes her mind.

30 October 2007
Entry 27
Ch. 14
Esther does not seem like a traditional 1950's woman. According to the GoodWives Guide, s woman is supposed to be a virgin, happy and devoted to her husband and all that good stuff. Esther is non of those things. She has lost her marbles and is crazy.

Entry 28
Esther has so much distrust for men. Her father died when she was young and that may make her feel like he let her down in a way by leaving. But I think she understands that it wasnt' his fault. Her history with men is not the best.

31 October 2007
Entry 29
Ch. 15

Esther seems a bit selfish and aware of her own bad behavior. Dr. Gordon and Dr. Nolan's treatment for Esther are two totally different treatments which I cannot understand why.

Entry 30
Esther has finally mentioned the bell jar. She feels vaccumed shut in it and isolated from the rest of the living world. She feels she has died some how and is watching everyone have a life, or that everyone is watching her not have one.

1 November 2007
Entry 31
Ch 16

Okay so Joan is also crazy. It makes me wonder if there were a story written about Joan if she would be in her own little bell jar too.

Entry 32
Esther is able to sympathize and empathize with Joan's story.

2 November 2007
Entry 33
Ch. 17
Pages 204 - 206

Esther is coming to terms with the fact that she is not alright. She doesn't believe that she is okay and wants to get better. She is seeing herself in this bell jar. She is solated from the world and wishes she could be alive like everyone else outside of the bell jar.

Entry 34
Pages 207-209

Esther seems to relate to the women in the assylum, even though she absolutely does not like it. She is clearly vieing to get out of this bell jar that she is in and be alive with everyone. She apparently feels dead. Well her craziness makes her feel dead anyway.

3 November 2007
Entry 35
Page 212
Esther seems to be battling with her younger self and her older self. She seems to be showing her mother the younger self of her.

Entry 36
Ch. 18
Page215
Quote: "The bell jar hung suspened a few feet above my head."

Esther felt free for a while. She felt alive and one with everyone else liek she had wanted to.

4 November 2007
Entry 37
Page229-230

Esther has had her first sexual experience and the awkwardness of it is very apparent. She has been struggling with her sexuality for quite a while and now it has peaked and she freaked.

entry 38
Page 238

Esther knwos she can relate with the women in the assylum and that is what truly gets to her becuase she doesn't want to and all she wants to do is get better and eperience the world and be alive again.

Entr 39
Ch. 19
Page 235

Joan has killed herself, somethign Esther could not do. Esther wants a life for herself and doesn't want to be suffocated in the bell jar. Joan's suffocation had killed her.

Entry 40
Ch. 20

I am not sure what will become of Esther but I think she will become permiscuous and maybe not so much crazy.