Journal Entries - The Catcher in the Rye

19 September 2007
Entry1
Ch. 1

Through his protagonist, J.D. Salinger vageuly forshadows that his protoagonist may have some serious mental health issues. I am not sure if that is true, but they Chapter 1 has been going it seems to me that he hasn't had the best life, and even though he loved his parents, they were still some what crazy. The protagonist does not seem to like the way his brother 'prostitutes' himself for the acting agencies. I am guessing he feels his brother is selling out and can do much better. He seems to care much for his family. Even though they may have been the cause for his, 'lousy childhood.' I am guessing the lousy childhood his parents have supplied for him makes him not want to grow up or anything, and may/has cause/caused some trauma.

Entry 2
Pg 5

The protagonist seems to be all over the place with the story he seems to be telling. I am guessing his stories are all over the place because his mind seems to be scattered. He cannot seem to keep his thoughts straight nor what he is saying. The way he reminisces seems as if he misses those memories. The protagonist is acting as if he has become something he doesn't like and may be missing those memories and thinking to himself that he should have enjoyed those moments rather than dislike them.


22 September 2007
Entry 3
Ch. 2
Quote: "Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it’s a game, alright I’ll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren’t any hot-shots, then what’s a game about it? Nothing. "

Mr. Spencer is telling Holden about Life and it is a game and you must play by the rules. Holden seems to see himself on the side where there aren't any hot-shots. He is identifieng with them and how lonley they are. Holden feels lonely -- alienated even. He feels as if he is the victim to everyone else's happiness. Or that he feels like the so called hot shots are happy and comfortable with themselves and he is not. This makes me pretty sad.


Entry 4
Pg 17

Holden Caufield seems manic-depressive. He seems to be saddened by the most trivial matters. His random thoughts make him seem as if it is hard for him to concentrate. Holden comes off as being dissapointed in people in general. I think Holden has just given up on people which causes him to be depressed. Also he may be avoiding thoughts of his future on purpose because he feels as if he is a disspaointment and may not want to think about him failing in the future. Holden seems to think a lot of adults are 'phony'. Such as his principal and few other parents at his other schools. I am not quite sure but his way of being immature is a way of staying young because he fears growing older and becoming a phony.

24 September 2007
Entry 5
Quote: "All I need is a goddamn audience." Pg. 30

It seems as if Holden does not like to be acknowledged mcuh. He'd perfer to alienate himself from others. I want to say he may be shy, but I really don't think that is the case here. He may just not like to know what others think of him in fear that he might get a bad critique. Holden resents being observed, but has an interest in observing. He seems so wrapped up in critiquing others and pointing out their flaws, I think it is a defense mechanism so he can find an excuse to not open up to anyone that is beneath him because most of the people he encounters he describes them to be not as good or just dumb.

Entry 6
Pg 34

Holden seems to alienate people from himself by pointing out his flaws, this gives him an excuse to not be close with a person. It's different with Stradlater because he describes Stradlater as a pretty decent looking guy, although some how Holden turns it around in making all of that negative. It seems to not get him anywhere in relationships and friendships. He talks about how he has been on these dates but I am guess they don't work out because he doesn't seem to go into depth with them except for saying how he just double dated and seems to end it there.

25 Spetember 2007
Entry 7
Pg. 40

Holden had gotten really ticked about the whole Stradlater thing. There were so many reasons, like he wouldn't tell Holden about Jane or that whole composition thing. Something seemed to have snapped inside of him. I guess you can only push Holden to a certain point before he snaps a little bit. Although I don't think Stradlater pushing him around, or the fact that Stradlater not telling him about Jane was what had ticked him off. It could have probably been the fact that Holden is leaving another school.

Entry 8
Quote:
"It was nice though, when we got out of the dining room. . .it looked pretty as hell and we were throwing snow balls. . ."

The way Holden describes the scenery makes him seem as if he is truly happy. I think this is the only time Holden seems to be truly at peace so far in the book. He has been complaining about a lot of things, and this is a very apparent contrast to all of those complaints. The snowball fight must have made him feel like a true child playing with his friends and being reckless, or something like it. It made him feel young, at that moment he must have felt that he was not going to grow older.

26 September 2007
Entry 9
Quote: "You can always tell a moron, they never want to discuss anything. . ." Pg. 45

Holden knew he was going to get himself hurt by Stradlater but he pushed his buttons anyway. For some odd reason Holden seemed like he wanted to get hurt. Why is it that Holden seems to like to get a rise out of people? Holden talks about himself being a pacifist, but if that were true then why is it that he has the complusion to purposly have people beat him up? Does Holden like this? It is said that girls often mutilate themselves by cutting themselves to stop feeling pain, but boys don't, they find other ways such as purposly getting into fights and having other people hurt them as a way of self-mutilation.

Entry 10
Page 56

Obviously, Holden is a compulsive liar. For some reason telling the truth for him makes him feel awkward and lieing makes him feel right. A compulsive liar lies out of habit due to the enviorment he or she was raised in. So maybe when Holden was younger he had to lie because it was necessary in the enviorment he was living in. Makes me wonder how 'lousy' his childhood really was.

27 September 2007
Entry 11
Pg. 62

I don't understand all these sexual acts or whatever that takes place and Holden happens to describe in deatail. I'm guessing it has to do with the whole 'coming of age' thing. Instead of going in order from being young to getting older, he starts off at being 16 then jumps back and fourth with the time of his life and age. His memories are very random but percise. I am not completely undertanding why he is doing this.

Entry 12
Pg. 66-68

Holden speaks of his sister very fondly. It's obvious he loves her deeply, it's good that he had a healthy relationship with is sister Pheobe. This confuses me about his lousy childhood that he describes earlier. He speaks of his family so fonldy talking about hos Pheobe was so smart, D.B. was a great writer, Allie was a smart guy his parents were caring. Holden might just be a very depressed person if all of that had made him happy but then depressed him at the same time because that's what I am getting out of these passages.

27 September 2007
Entry 13
Pg. 74

Holden seems to be a very peculiar person and likes to play around and lie to others. It is sort of like a nervous tick or something -- his lieing. When he feels uncomfortable he lies. Sometimes he lies to excite himself because he apparaently gets bored with others. He seems to lie to put himself in another reality because the one he is living in doesn't seem to amaze him enough since, according to him, all the people he seems to encounter are 'phonies'. Well mostly the adults anyway.

Entry14
Pg. 77

It is obvious that Holden holds an interst for Jane, and it has been going on for a while, even when he didn't see her or even realize it. Janes seems to be the only person Holden doesn't speak lowly of. This Jane character seems to be the only one that is not related to Holden that happens to hold his interest. I do not understand why though, maybe it's because she cried infront of him and that she showed true emotions, either that or he was the just the first girl he had a crush on and since he could never actually really have her he has still always wanted her. It's like the whole want what you can't have thing.

28 September 2007
Entry 15
Pg. 85-90

Holden Caufeild is an alcoholic. Plain and simple. Throughout these few pages, actually a little more than just these few pages, he has been talking about how depressed he was and he's been drinking alot, and when the bar wouldn't serve him because of his failure to produce an ID then he got a little miffed at the fact that he couldn't drink. So he just kept going bar to bar because he was just so depressed. That's whats wrong with him. He's depressed all the time. Everything makes him sad. It's because he reads way too much into everything and over analyzes it several times. Also I think when he thinks way too far into the future--his future it also depresses him. He is afraid to grow up for some odd reason. Also he is afraid to go home because his parents may think he has failed them. . .again.

Entry 16
98-99

Okay Holden might just live in his own reality to run away from everything that makes him depressed. Mayeb that is why he lies so much, just so he can get away and be someone else, so he doesn't have to face growin gup or anything that makes him feel sad. Wow this boy is really despressing. Holden talks about his brother and pretending that he is still alive and making up for what had gone wrong, not even anything serious it was just a little thing and it meant so much to him, and he talks to his dead brother at night when he feels like he should pray. How insane is that!? His brother Allie seems to be his comfortable place. Not only his brother but his whole family, and if that is so then why is Holden running away from them? He isn't going straight back home, just around it to avoid his family. He speaks so fondly of them, well atleast his brothers and sister, and sometimes his mother but why is he avoiding them all and makign excuses in not seeing them? Is Holden afraid? It seems like he is running away and hiding from something from his past.

1 October 2007
Entry 17
Pg 104

After Holden gets beaten up by Maurice, Holden fantasizes about hurting Maurice -- even killing him in such a dramatic way. Afterwards Holden talks about how he feels like comitting suicide, I wonder if he actually is suicidal. Holden seems very depressed so it was possible for him to commit suicide if he really wanted to. It's interesting how all of his emotional pain doesn't seem to phase him much and want to make him kill himself, but all of this physical pain does.

Entry 18
pg. 106

Holden is one hell of a hypocrite. He talks about all these 'perverts' but he has just as much lust as anyone else he describes ,but what I really wanted to talk about was the suitcase he mentions. I am not sure if it is important or not but he apparantly dislikes people with old poor looking suitcases. But it goes deeper than that obviously, it shows how Holden feels like he couldn't connect with his former roomate because the suitcase was a boundary for both of them. Although his other former roomate Stradlater had a fancy Holden and Holden said that he was more comfortable with him because of it. It shows that Holden would perfer to be with people that he could identifu with somehow.

2 October 2007
Entry 19
Pg. 121

Holden talks about how it is hard for him to like actors because they are so phony. Throughout the whole entire book he sounds like an old grumpy guy. He is around 17 but he sounds like he is much older. . .like 70. Again When he is at the Museum Holden sees and mentions the ducks he has been mentioning for a while now. Holden is very curious about the dissapearance of these ducks in the pond even though he knows that they fly South in the Winter and always come back in the Spring. Honestly, I am tried of hearing about these ducks. Anyway, the way I see it is that the ducks or birds. . .whatever, symbolize innocence. Only because curiousity is often in childeren and Holden holds this deep curiousity for these ducks and curiousity is often inmbeded in childeren whom are often innocent. The curiosity in these ducks. . .or birds brings out Holdens innocence and his childlike mentality.

Entry 20
Pg. 121
Quote: "The best thing though, in that Museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move."

We've established that Holden isn't very comfortable with change. Holden likes the Museum because unlike reality, it doesn't change. It's the only place that stays the same. He seems dissapointed that people can't be like the Museum -- the same. They are constantly changing and Holden dislikes that. The Museum is the reality Holden wishes he could live in, where everything is unchanging and the same, infinite even. Holden doesn't like that in the real world he doesn't understand why everyone is a phony, but he likes the Museum because everything is understandable and simple. Everything is fixated on being the same and can never change, an that is what Holden wants it's what he is comfortable with.

3 October 2007
Entry 21
Pg. 125
Quote: "I told her I loved her, it was a lie ofcourse, but I meant it when I said it."

Holden is still very sexually awkward. What does that even mean?! I seriously do not understand this quote. What does he mean that it was a lie but he meant it when he said it.
Like he meant it but it was a lie. What?! This is so confusing. Holden is very comfusing, I don't even think he realized that, that made no sense at all whatsoever. Well, atleast afterwards he admitted that he was crazy. I am glad that he admitted he was crazy, because that would probably be the only way to explain that quote.

Entry 22
Pg. 130

I am not sure what Holden is going through right now but he is just letting all of his emotions out and feeling reckless. He is so ready to just marry Sally and not care. He was right about being crazy. He doesn't even really love Sally and he knows it yet he jsut wants to be happy and he thinks this may make him happy. That maybe this is his last chance to stay the same forever. Which is a bunch of bologna.

4 October 2007
Entry 23
Pg. 137

Holden is thinking about his brother Allie again and how Allie had enjoyed the insignificant orchestra player becuase he was the only one who had such pride in what he was doing. Allie's death has really tramatized Holden. I am not sure if Allie had died young, but maybe that's why Holden wants to stay young or is afraid of change and growing up, becuase of his brother's untimely death.

Entry 24
Pg. 144

Holden's sexual awkwardenss is intensified in this chapter. His curiousity of sex and girls is childlike. He keeps asking Luce about all these personal questions about his sex life to try and get a better understanding. It's quite sad. What makes it even more sad though, is the fact that Holden knows he's being too forward and stepping out of line, but his childlike curiousity won't stop him. He is acting very immature and he doesn't care.

5 October 2007
Entry 25
Pg. 150

I feel terrible for Holden. I mean he is only 17 and he is such a drunk. He is so sad all the time and he doesn't even have a plausable reason to be. He just is. Holden had called Sally when he was drunk. Which is odd because I really expected him to call Jane. He seemed to like Jane alot, but for some reason he went all crazy and told Sally to marry him. . . He is one odd kid.

Entry 26
Pg. 157

Holden is finally home. I do not understand his fear of coming home to his parents. Maybe it is because he fears he has failed them again and he may actually have to grow up this time. He loves his younger sister, he loves to spen time with her too. He loves Phoebe, he loves all kids. Only because Holden wishes he were one. He doesn't want to grow up he loves the innocence and curiousity of kids. He believes that kids are truly genuine. He fears becoming older and being a phony, if he were a kid then he wouldn't have to be phony.

6 October 2007
Entry 27
Pg. 168

Holden is back home and he is speaking with his sister Phoebe about why exactly he wasn't kicked out but why he left the school. He even lies to his sister. Holden is just making excuses for why the school wasn't right for him. Nothing ever seems to make him happy. He over exaggerates mostly everything. Especially when he talks about how 'phony' the kids at school are, I mean maybe there's nothing wrong with everyone else, maybe it's just Holden, okay actually it is Holden.

Entry 28
Pg 173
Quote: "You know that scong If a body catch a body coming down the rye. . .what I have to do, I have to catch everybody that's going over the cliff. . ."

Pheobe asks Holden what he wants to do, and he replies by saying he wants to be in a rye and catch all the kids that fall over the cliff. Basically he wants to protect the purity of the young childeren before they hurt themselves. Going over the cliff means growing up and making mistakes and being a 'phony'. Holden doesn't want that for the childeren, Holden knows he's fake, and he doesn't want the kids to turn out like him so he feels he should protect them.

8 October 2007
Entry 29
Pg. 178-79

Pheobe offered to give Holden her Christmas savings so he can get a cab. Holden started to cry and couldn't stop. By now Holden must have been feeling pretty pathetic and depressed. It was just about eight dollars. Still, though, Holden must have felt pretty crappy, and maybe overwhelmed as well. Hadn't seen his sister in thelongest time and when she went and did something as generous as offer him her Christmas savings it broke his heart. In a way Pheobe was helping Holden when all Holden wants to do is help childeren, he wants to be the 'Catcher in the rye.'

Entry 30
Pg. 187
Quote: ' This fall I think you're riding for-it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind...He just keeps falling and falling.'

According to an ex-teacher of Holden's, Holden is looking for something he won't be able to find because nothing ever seems to make him happy. Holden is just a sad person. He is depressed for no reason.

9 October 2007
Entry 31
Pg. 193
Quote: "When something perverty like that happens, I start sweating like a bastard. That kind of stuffs happend to me about twenty times since I was a kid."

Holden is referring to Mr. Antolini stroking Holden's head while he was asleep. Apparently Holden has been molested or something when he was a child? Maybe that is why he has such a hard time with sex and women and relationships and an awkwardness with them all. Also maybe Holden's wanting to protect childeren make up for the fact that he was never protected as a child? Maybe? Oh I think so.